There is no such thing as “not flexible enough for yoga”

Screen Shot 2013-12-21 at 6.30.30 PMIf you can walk, you can do yoga.

And even if you can’t walk, you can do yoga.

I love this time of year because of all the holiday parties. My husband and I make the rounds to see friends and family, and an extended network of neighbors and acquaintances we’ve developed in our many years of living in Memphis.

There are some people that I see only at this time of year. It’s great to catch up and hear what people have been up to, and swap stories about the previous year.

Sometimes people want to talk about yoga.

There are several refrains that I commonly hear when I am out and about.

  • I wish I could do yoga but I’m not flexible at all.
  • I can’t even touch my toes.
  • I could never touch my toes.
  • My hands (or wrists) can’t bear weight so I can’t do yoga.
  • I went to a yoga class once and it was too hard.
  • Yoga is not enough of a workout for me. I like an intense workout where I sweat.
  • My doctor says I’m too flexible (or stiff or old or injured or blah blah blah) for yoga.
  • My mother told me I’d never have good posture.

None of these things have anything to do with your ability to do yoga.

If you want to practice yoga, you will find a way.

You will try teacher after teacher until you find the one who is the right fit for you.

When people talk to me about yoga when we are just hanging out, I take that to mean that they are interested in it.  Even when what they are saying is why they can’t do it.

If you have heard yourself (or a friend) saying any of the above, let’s talk.

Sometimes you have to overcome your “can’ts,” “nots,” and “never haves,” before you can find your “will, your “want to,” and your “must do.”

I’d love to help you find your way.

Email me.

Aging or death? I’ve made my choice.

In my world, the only alternative to aging is death.

With that in mind, getting older seems like a pretty good alternative.

So I am putting this out there as my official announcement.


This declaration does not come easy for me.

I’ve spent plenty of time, thought, energy and other resources trying to keep myself looking good as I move well into my 40’s.

Last week I got a phone call from a longtime out-of-town friend who is nearing 40.

He called to talk about his frustration with what he called “the whole work-out mentality.”

When I asked him what he was looking for in a physical or exercise discipline, he said an “anti-vanity” and “anti-self-loathing” practice.

He said he’s tired of all the emphasis on looks as if it were a competition. And tired of working out to make his body conform to some arbitrary definition of perfection.

I feel the same.

Like everyone else, I can find cringe-worthy flaws when I catch a surprise view of myself at a weird angle in the mirror.

So I’ve invented a few silly tricks to deal with the harsh reality of the fluorescent-lit retail fitting rooms mirrors. (Hint: use the mirror to look at yourself in the clothes, NOT to look at yourself from the back in your underwear!)

That’s a trick that works for me.

And I avoid certain situations that trigger self-loathing in me – like looking into magnifying mirrors or spending time with friends/family who comment on my latest pimple or skin tag.

I catch myself often. I hear an inner voice saying “I’m too this” or “I’m not enough that.”  Then I stop and ask myself what is this self-judgement going to accomplish?

You could compare yourself to others’ standards of what’s acceptable at your age and what isn’t. But why don’t you join me in changing your inner conversation? Ask yourself you really want. What are you looking for?

Here are a few ways I answer this question:
I’m looking for the experience of feeling good in my body.
I’m looking to have the energy to do the things I love to do.
When I am with my friends and family I want to be myself.
I want to enjoy my activities as much as possible.
I want to pursue my life with passion and joy.


The above 5 things help me decide how I will spend my time.

If 60 minutes in a spinning class does not make me feel good in my body…if I have ‘friends’ who expect me to be prettier or thinner…if reading all the ‘right’ books bores me to tears…then FUHGEDDABOUDIT!

Life is too short.

I’ve considered my own death pretty seriously two times in my early life. In times of serious depression I’ve wondered if the world might be better off without me.

The end of my life would have been the ultimate anti-ager. I would have been dead at a young age — etched in everyone’s memory with nary a wrinkle or ounce of cellulite.

Why not end it all while you’re still looking young?

I’ll tell you why.

Because life after 20 and 30 and even 40 can be pretty damn good!

The crow’s feet and the (potential) jowls are a small price to pay for all the amazing experiences from each decade of my life.

This is why I am PRO-AGING!


Mind — agile; Body — uh, not so much.


Oh, would that it were!

Oh, would that it were!

My mind is prolific and with an inexhaustible vocabulary.  When I lie down to sleep at night, motionless, thoughts flow from one to the next and the next and the next…ad infinitum. A seamless dance of idea upon thought, venturing into the future, and visiting the past.  I finally fall asleep for dreams, pictures, and stories. Busy mind.

My body, however, gets stuck in inertia.  It leans toward lethargy and likes its movements draggy and slow.

How to slow down the mental chatter and bring some lightness to my arms and legs?  How to activate the body so that it moves as freely as flowing thought?

I start on my yoga mat.  I have made an appointment with myself for daily practice.  Oh, the mind is willing but the flesh is oh so weak.  Coffee calls.  So does the crossword puzzle.  And the cat who meows for a stroke or a pat.  I could skip  yoga today; I’ve got work to do.

No, this is the time set aside for asana (physical) practice.  I stay on the mat.  I do, however, allow myself the luxury of lying down.

I often start my practice lying down because if I plan to do super-active standing poses right away, I procrastinate and rebel.  My mind has strategies to coax my body into doing something.

I start on my back, feeling the ground under me.  I bring knee to chest and hold the leg.  I exhale my breath and wait for inhalation to come.

My mind wanders again to the 10,000 things I could be doing instead.  Watering the plants.  Returning phone calls.  I switch legs and breathe in and breathe out.

I straighten my leg and feel the sting of the initial stretch.  I let my leg down a bit so the stretch morphs into something like an interesting sensation. I have known the pain of overexertion and that never works for me.

Okay, i can be here a few more minutes.  Switch legs.

My mind and my body catch up to each other for just a brief moment when I wonder how I might lengthen my hamstring muscles and relax my hip at the same time.  A deep breath comes.  This feels good.  I keep going.

One leg stretch leads to one good breath.  One lying down posture leads to a sitting up posture.

The minutes click by.  I stand on my legs.  I feel their earthy strength.  I am growing taller with each breath.

I am strong, I am relaxed, I am practicing yoga.

My mind flits from this minute on the sticky mat to wondering what I will eat for breakfast and then back again to this moment, this posture, this breath.  Then rewinds to last week’s visit with my parents and how we laughed together.  Then back to the spreading of my toes and the ease of my exhalation.

This is what it’s like; this yoga practice.

My body struggles to keep up with the mental machinations, and eventually I know it will not be able to.  Here, in my 30’s I am still developing its strength and enjoying creating new challenges — standing on my hands or running faster around the lake at the park. At some point the challenge will be to take one step at a time, to climb the stairs or to stay up past 9pm.  I know that soon enough my 70’s and 80’s will progress toward a slowing-down.

Matching the nimbleness of the body to the agility of the mind is the challenge for me now, and surely will be the challenge then.

In the meantime, I show up to my mat.  I lie down. I breathe in.  I move my leg. I breathe out.  I bring my body and my mind in sync for one moment.  And enjoy just that much

This is what it’s like; this life.

Comments (1)