May 2014

The yoga of marriage

Screen Shot 2014-05-30 at 9.47.54 AM“Yoga” is the Sanskrit word for union. And in honor of this special day, I’m sharing some thoughts on both. Enjoy!

Today is my 14th wedding anniversary.

We married in 2000, and we’ve been inseparable from the moment we met in 1997 the day I drove into Memphis with everything I owned packed into my beloved ancient Volvo station wagon.

Seventeen years later, I am still in love – with my husband. I attribute that especially to our efforts to seek balance and stability — just like you’d do in any good yoga pose.

My husband runs a theatre company and has a reputation for being quite the creative type.

But, that’s only part of the picture. He’s also practical. He’s a GUY!

That means sometimes he’s short on narrative descriptives and long on NUMBERS and DATA.

When he comes home from his yoga class I ask him, “How was your class?”

  • “Good.  There were 12 people in the class.”  Or…
  • “Good.  We did 60 minutes of the standing poses.”  Or…
  • “Good.  I had planned on the 5:00 class, but I had 2 afternoon meetings so I went to the 6:30 class instead.”

When I return from yoga class, and he asks me the same thing, my usual replies are:

  • “Oh, completely awesome!!  My forward bends are MUCH stronger and deeper.”  Or…
  • “Great! I couldn’t be more excited about how smoothly it went.”  Or…
  • “Awful! I’m sooooooooo bummed because no matter how hard I try I seem to keep getting my right and left mixed up.”

What does this say about us?

My husband values having a finite answer to any question.  He speaks the facts and lets me draw my own conclusions.  He tends to focus on the positive, and likes to quantify it….60% better or 25% more.

My answers tend more toward the dramatic.

Filled with lots of emotion and tons of hyperbolic descriptions.  I emphasize for effect.

Adverbs and adjectives fill in the blanks so you absolutely never have to guess how deeply I stretched or how incredibly incredible something is!

Stronger, deeper, awesome, great. I have exclamation points and I am not afraid to use them!!!!!!!!!!!

And I speak in italics, bold font & SOMETIMES ALL 3 AT THE SAME TIME!

Emoticons were invented just for me.


My husband and I balance each other well.  Like yin and yang. Light and dark. Like the very best yoga pose.

Through-out the years of our union,  I’ve grown a lot from being around him.

I’ve learned to look at the checks & balances, seek clarity, make definitive decisions and take bolder action.  And I’ve gotten a tiny, little bit better at letting things roll off my back.

This relationship has been good for me. As for what he’s gotten from being with me, you’ll have to ask him.

You can bet his answer will go something like this:

“It’s been a good 17 years.”

Evidence of joy

joy looks like

I ‘m always finding cool stuff on my daily walks through the neighborhood.

Stumbling upon this evidence of a child’s outdoor adventure filled me with delight. I snapped a photo of it with my phone just so I could remember the moment.

My imagination went wild thinking about how some little guy probably got called inside for dinner right in the middle of playing out his fantasy of how little guys can slay big dragons with the smallest tool.

We are lucky to have 7 little people under the age of 5 on our block. Their marathon make-believe sessions inspire the squeals and giggles that form the soundscape to our street.

These moments make me know deep down in my bones that joy exists. And that the simple delights are ever close at hand…when I take the time to notice them.

Where do you find joy?